So a girl is walking across campus late one night. She was visiting some friends in another dorm, and they were all dressed up to re-enact the Bella/Edward wedding. She had taken off her ridiculous white dress, but forgot to bring a change of shoes. Walking across campus in lucite high heels wasn't easy, and she definitely wobbled a bit, but it was late. No one was going to judge her.
But then Joe drove by her as she walked down the sidewalk. He got to thinking "why is this girl wobbling around outside, dressed in a short dress and super high heels? She obviously must be high and in that outfit, looking for sex. I must go investigate. I should also call campus police, since there have been some drunk girls passed out on the front lawn recently".
So he called campus police. In the call, he mentioned that this girl was a slut and a whore who was looking for a good time. The campus police said "stop following her, we will take care of it".
Joe didn't listen. He was concerned that this girl, obviously a slut, was just hanging around and it bothered him. It bothered him a lot. So he decided to take matters into his own hands. He got out of his car and approached this young woman. She turned around and said in a fearful voice "who are you? Why are you following me?"
Joe grabbed her and dragged her behind a tree and tried to assault her. Joe hit her, again and again, until she lay still.
A few minutes later, the campus police drive up and say, "what is going on here?"
Joe said "I was defending myself officer. She attacked me so I killed her. I have the right to stand my ground if someone comes at me".
The officer took one look at the lucite heels, and Joe's bloody mouth, and said "oh, ok. I am glad that you were able to defend yourself against this obvious aggressor".
And then Joe went home. The End.
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